i think this should be my new nickname...

"GTI Kitten" is a real book... we got it at the store today

Season Zero

In the dream i had last night, some channel was playing Buffy the Vampire episodes from a previously unreleased season, a season that Amazon was calling "Season Zero" because it predates the real season 1.

The theme song was the same song but slower, more melodic, and had words (sung by Buffy).

The episode that i saw was even darker and stranger than any other Buffy episode (hard to believe...) probably to further distance itself from the debaucle of a movie that was Buffy the Vampire Slayer (which if you watch it and picture the TV show's characters and atmosphere, it's a pretty good movie... it could have been good. it was not.)

So, i tried to log into Amazon to order myself a copy of "Season Zero" but every time i'd type in amazon.com it would direct me some place completely different.

but when i woke up, i almost DID try to find "Season Zero..."

but it would be a great gift idea...

stolen from the Raggedy Android

Tired of questions by 15, 16, 17 year olds who have never lived in the real world? Here’s one for the folks who have actually lived.

1. Worst damage you ever took in a fight? I've sparred in martial arts class; got dropped on my head and coudn't turn my head until i went to the chiropractor the next day

2. Most money you ever owed credit card company? $17,000

3. Last time you got kicked out of a bar?
When i was 20 i got kicked out of the Unicorn twice in one night. after the first time, i went home, changed clothes, and went back...

4. Longest time you slept in a car?
probably not more than a few hours

5. Most f*cked up nickname you’ve ever been given?
"izzy"...

6. Worst job you ever had?
stupid sandwich shop job. i'd been in Milwaukee less than a year. i quit when the owner accused me of smoking pot on the job (which wasn't true)

7. Shortest job you’ve ever had?
corn detasseling only lasts two weeks, but that's just because that's how long the job is. lots of people quit after a couple days, but i lastes the two weeks. i was 13

8. Longest romantic relationship?
five years of living hell

9. Shortest romantic relationship?
i've had several that were "you're awesome!" one day, and the next day were "yeah, i don't think i want a relationship..." the next day

10. Food that you would eat until you puked?
well, i'm tempted to say sushi, but i don't WANT to eat so much sushi that i puke

11. Food that even looking at makes you puke?
thinking about Japanese peanut butter makes my stomach churn (think peanut flavored snot...)

12. What music saved your life?
back in the "day", Simple Minds and Kate Bush

13. Person you miss the most in the world?
i'd be a jerk if i didn't say "my dad", but he's been dead for 21 years which is more than half my life. not saying that i DON'T miss him, but i don't define myself by his absence

14. Worst movie you’ve ever seen?
Trees Lounge. we got in free and i STILL wanted my money back.

15. Best movie you’ve ever seen?
Shallow Grave

16 Movie you really want to see?
if i haven't seen it, chances are i really must not care that much to see it

17. Ever almost die?
i was in a really bad car accident that i think could have been fatal, but since it wasn't i will never know...

18. Ever fist fight a member of the opposite sex?
hit, yes; "fist fight" no

19. Best place you have ever lived?
London

20. Worst place you have ever lived?
Janesville

21. Bad habit you have.
Procrastinating

22. Noise that makes you want to punch people?
there are a lot and i can't think of any...

23. Your favorite tattoo?
gear bunny

24. Least favorite tattoo?
portrait tattoos. i don't want someone's face on my shoulder

26. Most money you have ever spent on a single meal?
about $150 for Medieveal Times

27. Best gift you ever got?
Jen gave me a lot of cool stuff, but i've sold most of it off on eBay...

28. Best pet you ever had?
Koshka

29. Ever run from the cops?
Run from the cops? No. Run before the cops had a chance to be called? Yes.

30. Money or love:
love

We are all "Pre-Pregnant

Once again, stolen directly from Savage Love:

STRAIGHT RIGHTS UPDATE
Every time I write one of these I think, "This is the last one. Banning abortion, evicting unmarried straight couples and their children, moving to ban birth control—things can't get any worse, can they?"

Oh, but they can: Not satisfied with meddling in the lives of the relatively small percentage of women who are pregnant, the American Taliban is moving to regulate the lives of all American women. "New federal guidelines ask all females capable of conceiving a baby to treat themselves—and to be treated by the health care system—as pre-pregnant, regardless of whether they plan to get pregnant anytime soon," reports The Washington Post. "This means all women between first menstrual period and menopause should take folic acid supplements, refrain from smoking, maintain a healthy weight and keep chronic conditions such as asthma and diabetes under control. . . . It's important that women follow this advice throughout their reproductive lives, because about half of pregnancies are unplanned and so much damage can be done to a fetus between conception and the time the pregnancy is confirmed."

the rest of the article

okay, a lot of that is just darned good advice anyway, but for the government to TELL ME that i should be doing these things to protect the children that i am never going to give birth to...?

The Dukes of Hesse

These guys don't care about their van... either that or they have a great deal of faith in their van...

The Dukes of Hesse

The war on Straights

Lifted straight from syndicated advice column "Savage love":

STRAIGHT RIGHTS UPDATE
Religious conservatives don't just hate homos. Their attacks on gay people, relationships, parents, and sex get all the press, but the American Taliban has an anti-straight-rights agenda too. As I wrote on March 23: "The GOP's message to straight Americans: If you have sex, we want it to fuck up your lives as much as possible. No birth control, no emergency contraception, no abortion services, no lifesaving vaccines. If you get pregnant, tough shit. You're going to have those babies, ladies, and you're going to make those child-support payments, gentlemen. And if you get HPV and it leads to cervical cancer, well, that's too bad. Have a nice funeral, slut."

read the entire article in "Savage Love"

One Arrow, One life

Last night i had an archery dream. i think the range was at a Home Depot...

Anyway, each lane was partitioned off with canvas tenting. I was given a bow; i was not allowed to use my own bow. The bow looked more like a club than a bow, and the string was bailing twine. the draw was short and, not really "weak", but "strange. It wasn't difficult to pull, but it was just wrong (but what do you expect from a bow made of a club with a string of twine.)

i was not allowed to use an arm guard or a finger tab, and every time i shot the string slapped my arm. The string dug into my fingers.

i took my spot at the shooting line. It was in a tent of sorts. i had to shoot through a hole in a wooden door with a glass window. The hole was in the glass window and didn't look like it would be big enough to PUSH an arrow through let alone SHOOT an arrow through. My station was at such an odd angle, that you couldn't actually even see the target, which was downhill from the shooting line.

The arrows i had to choose from were bent, broken, or missing fletching.

So, i'm using an inferior bow, trying to hit a target that not only can i not see, it's not even physically possible to hit it THROUGH an impossible obstacle with defective ammunition... and it's even causing me physical pain to try...

i woke up before i had a chance to make my one shot.

WOOF WOOF W12

Watch out, Ferrari, Volkswagen builds a Supercar.

more...

Do Androids Dream of Elecrtic Hookers?

i got solicited again through Yahoo by one of those adult site teasers... i think it's a program that randomly picks out Yahoo profiles (or picks them through some sort of formula) and send you IM messages like "I was just looking at your profile, and since i'm kinda horny i was wondering if you wanna chat?" but despite a response of "you bore me to tears" the program continues to send you messages like "I have to go change my clothes, but my friend wants to chat to you, too!"

this time it actually stopped after a couple times of me saying "no"

but yeah, it will send you links to "pay per view" adult sites.

i don't need that. i've already got my favorites bookmarked...

no...

yes...

no...

My New Toy...

The Rizla cigarette rolling box! for perfect RYO cigarettes-- even with filters!-- every time!

I've been rolling my own off and on over the course of the last 18 years because it is cheaper and you can find higer quality, no additive tobacco. 15 years ago my friend Lisa had a Rizla rolling box, and now that i have made smoking practically a hobby, if i'm going to be hand rolling, i want to use something clever and stylish like a rolling box. Also with a rolling box like this (or any rolling device) you can add in a filter, and i like that. i tried free rolling with a filter and it was pretty darned tough. POSSIBLE with enough practice, but too much trouble. So $10 later i am the proud owner of a rolling box of my own. the thing is pretty amazing just how well it works, too! With enough practice (wich really isn't that much), you can turn out perfect cigarettes every time

Open the box and set the "trough".

place filter in one end and fill the trough with tobacco. My tobacco of choice is Drum.

lick the gum on the paper and place the paper behind the tobacco with the gum as the top edge. Slowly close the box with even pressure

perfect cigarette pops out the lid!

the roller is made of some sort of fabric, and i have no idea how it manages to perfectly tuck in the non-gum edge of the paper, but that was always the toughest part of free-rolling-- getting the edge of the paper to fold under just right.

for added flavor i'm thnking of trying adding some pipe tobacco. or, just roll one of nothing but pipe tobacco to puff on like a cigar... some bars don't allow pipes and cigars, so this might be a good way to "sneak" in a pipe "cigarette" in to those places...